Forgiveness

One of the most effective ways to gain a sense of freedom in our lives is to learn the simple art of forgiveness. I say "simple," but I do not say "easy." Forgiveness is not always easy, especially when we have our own pasts to heal from, our own present issues to deal with. Often we are faced with the choice to forgive or not to forgive when the person has not even offered an apology, and may never do so.
It is vital to remember that forgiveness is truly for the person doing the forgiving. Forgiveness can be a gift to the forgiven in some circumstances--it can lift their load of guilt a little bit--but it is the person who forgives who is truly laying down a load. Anger, bitterness, hurt, desire for revenge are all awefully heavy burdens. Whether an individual deserves our forgiveness is not really the issue. The question, rather, is: How much longer are we willing to harm ourselves by refusing our forgivess.
Let go. Forgive.

Service

"Free hands were made to free tied hands.
Tied hands were made to put free hands to good use."

The opportunity to serve others is as much a gift for the one doing the serving as it is for the one receiving the service. The song says "for it is in giving that we receive." I have found this to be true in my own life and in the lives of others I know. Such a simple formula for finding happiness and satisfaction.

Loneliness/Connection

I just read a wonderful line from a David Whyte poem:

All those years
forgetting
how easily
you can belong
to everything
simply by listening.


I wonder if we are losing the art of listening. We long so much for connection with other human beings and mistakenly believe that if others are listening to us, that it will help us feel connected with them. Many human beings go out of their way for attention from others, some in very destructive ways. Some of us simply become disconnected with others because we are burried in our own lives and have forgotten to look outward. We are too busy "speaking" to "listen" to all that is around us.

In reality it is through listening that we gain a feeling of connection with others--and not just listening to words. We can "listen" to others with all of our senses, and with our hearts. As we grow in genuine, loving curiousity toward others and toward the world around us, it will deepen our sense of connection. It is not being alone that makes us lonely, it is lack of connection with the people and the world around us--with it's beauty, mystery, and it's constant changing. We can achieve a sense of connection any time we want to by simply stopping and listening.

Allentown

On Friday in the 8th-grade career classes at my school, we listened to the song "Allentown" by Billy Joel. (Fabulous song, by the way. Listen to it, or at least look up the lyrics.) We got into a discussion about whether or not the American Dream actually exists. Some people thought yes, some no, some said sometimes.
I think that it does, but that it's a lot harder than most people think. I also don't think it's all that simple. Like, a person kind of has to know how to make the American Dream happen--the rules of the "game" so to speak. People who have it easy tend to think it is easier than it really is for others. It's hard to see life through the eyes of another person. I think we tend to judge people who are poor or homeless as being lazy or as having something wrong with them. It makes it possible for us to hide from the fact that we are all just a few steps away from homelessness and poverty, too.

The Deathcrawl

This week in my middle school guidance classes I have been showing a clip from the movie Facing the Giants. In the clip, the coach calls the players out on having bad attitudes and already writing off their next game as a loss. He asks one player in particular to do the "deathcrawl" by himself--an exercise in which the players walk on their hands and feet carrying another player on their backs--basically bearing the weight of themselves and the other player almost entirely on their arms. He tells the player, Brock, that he wants him to give him his very best. When Brock agrees, the coach then tells him he wants him to do it blindfolded.

The other players have all just finished doing the same exercise and had gone 20 yards. Brock starts out with the coach's encouragement. When he begins to get tired, the coach urges him on. At first the other players are laughing at their teammate having to do the deathcrawl again, but as Brock keeps going on and on, not being able to see how far he has gone, the other players begin to stand up and watch him, wondering how far he is actually going to go.

Brock begins to lose strength. The coach gets down with him and yells things like, "Keep going! Five more steps! Don't you quit on me!" On and on it goes. Finally, Brock collapses, almost in tears, dripping sweat, and saying, "It has to be the fifty! I got nothin' left!" The coach removes the blindfold from Brock and says, "Look up Brock. You're in the in-zone." He had done the deathcrawl for 100 yards, thinking he was only going to be able to go 50 at the most!

After the clip I asked the classes, "Would he have been able to go that far if he had not been blindfolded? The answer was a chorus of "no" from the students. They understood, intuitively, that if we believe we are only capable of going to the 50-yard line, we will only make it to the 50-yard line. Whatever we believe our limits to be, that is what our limits will be.

What is one of your limiting beliefs? Do you believe that you are not smart enough? Not good-looking enough? Too busy? Too damaged? Whatever you believe will turn out to be true--we subconsciously find ways to make ourselves right. Sometimes, it is more important to us to be right than it is to be happy. Identifying and shifting our limiting beliefs can be one of the most empowering things we can ever learn to do in our lives.

Why stop at the fifty when we could go to the hundred?

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My Quote

When I was in 6th grade, our teacher told us two write something about hands. This is the quote I came up with:

"Free hands are made to free tied hands.

Tied hands are made to put free hands to good use."

What do you think??????????